Mormon Doctrine.net Dawn's Testimony

I was raised in the RLDS church (Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints¹). I was baptized at eight years of age because, according to the RLDS Church, that is the age of accountability. I was confirmed a few weeks later. My family was a good church-going family. We attended three times a week.

Over time though, especially during high school, I drifted away and became embroiled in other interests. I was married when I was 19, but the marriage was not good as he beat me and threatened me. I was scared to be there and didn't have the means to leave. Finally I talked my mother into helping me and, after a few false starts, I escaped on my 21st birthday. A few weeks after that was when I got saved!

After I finally left my husband, I went back home to my live with my parents. It was early November. My brother, who is 2 1/2 years younger than me, asked if I would go to a youth retreat with him as a chaperone. The retreat was scheduled for a weekend later that same month. I had no interest in going, so I said, "No!" A couple of weeks went by and he asked again and stated that if they couldn't get more chaperones they were going to have to cancel the retreat. So, I said yes, but only out of guilt and not because I wanted to be there. I figured they were desperate, after all. Why would they ask someone who's marriage had just dissolved to be a chaperone to a bunch of senior high kids.

I went to the retreat and felt out of place, both from the kids and from the other adults. On Saturday night I went to talk to my brother, and told him how I felt -- that none of them could even possibly imagine what the last couple of years of my life were like. My life was so far removed from things like that, and that being there was just making me feel worse. The next morning, there was a dedication service (all the RLDS retreats end that way) and everyone got up to say how much being there meant to them. I sat there feeling further and further from everyone and everything.

My brother got up and spoke to me. He said that everyone there would love me if I just opened my heart and let them. Well, my heart did open, but it wasn't because I did anything, it was because God, in His glory, reached down and took the pain and suffering onto Himself and I was free! It was such a profound moment and I knew that God had worked a miracle in me. I knew I was saved. I couldn't say that at the time, being RLDS (that language was not part of our vocabulary), but that is what happened.

Not being familiar with other religions, but being saved by God's grace, I delved into some fairly deep studies. I read large sections of the Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible.² I found that especially Genesis and Matthew were greatly changed from the King James Version of the Bible.

I tried talking with some of the priesthood leaders at church about issues I was having problems with at work regarding how I had changed dramatically and the attitudes of the people I worked with (they thought I should go see a psychiatrist) but those conversation were cut short when I started college, since I went to my church college, over 1,000 miles away. While I was in college I got into a very conservative RLDS group who were all as passionate as I was; which was a rarity because it was hard to find many others my age who were interested in deeper studying of the scriptures.

While I was in college, the RLDS church started making a concerted effort to alter their beliefs. (The RLDS church experienced an identity crises over the years, since they did not consider themselves “Mormon”, but were always accused of being Mormon by non-Mormons, and they wanted to change those perceptions.) So, they started mainstreaming their beliefs with Protestant beliefs. Conservative RLDS did not like this trend (myself being one of them), and in the mid-80's, they broke away from the main body of the RLDS church. From there on out, without the conservatives to keep them in check, the RLDS church started becoming very liberal. I, unfortunately, was not in an area where there was a conservative group to attend, so I continued to attend the more liberal body of the church, and started liberalizing with them.

Back in the late 90's, I began to realize that I had "lost touch" with God, and so began looking for Him. I tried lots of new stuff, and for brief moments, I felt in touch, but it really required a lot of work, and I knew that at one point in time, it didn't require all that work, so I tried to figure out what the difference was. I came to believe that the main difference was that when I felt close to God I was conservative, and I realized that the liberalness was getting in the way, so I was faced with the decision of whether I wanted to, or even whether I should, "de-liberalize" myself."

After talking with some of the conservative members, I decided to go for it. I would make the long, hard trek back to fundamentalism. (It was long and hard, too.) At the same time, because of my decision to return to more fundamental beliefs, I started running into problems with the church. I posted for several years on their discussion board, and in the end I got banned for speaking my mind about their liberalness and their movement away from the restoration. That was in 2004, and that was when I first started posting on ChristianForums and first came in contact with mainstream Christians in a discussion setting.

Round about 1999, God started putting questions on my heart that I couldn't find answers to at church and that was what started my intensive searching. I thought (or hoped) that once I was back with the conservative RLDS that my questions would be answered, but they weren't. Also, due to the internal struggles within the RLDS/CoC, there were a lot of questions related to authority that came up. At that time, I was a hardcore believer in authority, and so when the church made moves away from the restoration (which endowed them with authority), and started ordaining women, I believed that the priesthood had become diluted, making the ordinances and sacraments invalid, and this was a factor in the puzzle, too.

During the reorganization of the church back in the 1850s, there were promises made to the Reorganization that they would be instrumental in ushering in Zion (the millennial reign), but as the church grew more apostate, it was looking less and less like it would be able to fulfill the promises that God gave, and I started feeling backed between a rock and a hard place. How could the church fulfill it's promises if it was apostate? I really struggled with that question for a long time (well, several months, but it seemed like an eternity!) Just when I was reaching the peak of my anxiety, related to even more political activities in the church, someone posted a scripture on the discussion board. It was Matthew 16:18, and the scripture hit me like a ton of bricks. " ........... upon this rock I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it."

I finally saw that scripture for what it really said, and I had to think of the promise in it and compare it to the promises that were given to the Reorganization. I realized that both sets of promises couldn't be true. If the one given by Christ in the Bible was true, there couldn't have been an apostasy (the foundational belief of the restoration), and therefore the restoration couldn't have been true, and if it wasn't true, then God couldn't be trusted to keep His promises and the ones given to the Reorganization were equally untrue. The only logical choices, then, were that the Biblical promise, alone, was true or neither of them were true. Since I knew that God had already saved me, I knew that the promises given in the Bible were true. I rejected the restoration immediately. This whole episode took less than 10 minutes!

This took place on June 27, 2005. (June 27, 1844 is the day Joseph Smith was killed. To me, he died twice that day.)

I have to admit that it hasn't all been an easy road to travel since then. I loved the RLDS church, it was my life. Literally. I was so involved in it that I hadn't sat through a service that I wasn't involved in some way for years, and I was also very active in organizing family events for the congregation for several years. I literally didn't know how to not be involved, and so to walk away from it (the beliefs, the culture, the friends) was very hard. And when I left, I had no idea what to believe or where to go. Between one of my friends, my chiropractor, and an online friend (a pastor of a non-denominational church I met on a discussion board), I found a church home which I love, and where I find the Spirit of God in abundance. I joined a Bible study group that has really helped me learn and grow.

Dawn

1. Editor's comment: The RLDS church, known now as the Community of Christ (CoC), is one of several sects of Mormonism who believe that Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, is a prophet of God and that the Book of Mormon is inspired of God. The RLDS church has its headquarters in Independence, Missouri and the LDS church has its headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah. The LDS church is by far the largest and most visible of all Mormon sects. Another Mormon sect, the polygamist Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), made the news recently when its former polygamist prophet, Warren Jeffs, was found guilty of two counts of rape as an accomplice for coercing a 14-year-old girl to marry her older cousin and have sex with him. The RLDS states that it has never advocated polygamy. The LDS church renounced polygamy in 1890 under pressure from the U.S. government. The interested reader is referred to another testimony on this site: Out of Polygamist Mormonism, by Brian Mackert. (back to text)

2. Editor's comment: The Joseph Smith Translation (JST), also known as the Inspired Version, is a work of Joseph Smith. Smith believed that God inspired him to "correct" the Bible. According to the Book of Mormon:

1 Nephi 13:28 Wherefore, thou seest that after the book hath gone forth through the hands of the great and abominable church, that there are many plain and precious things taken away from the book, which is the book of the Lamb of God.

Smith's work contains significant additions and revisions to the Holy Bible. Smith relied upon no other texts to render his version of the Holy Bible. Smith believed that his work was instead inspired of God and a restoration of God's original intent.

Interestingly, the LDS church doesn't have rights to Smith's work. Coleen Ralston writes:

"It is interesting that in some of the Restorationists' writings, they showed that the U.S. courts found that the LDS Church wandered from the teachings of the original church that Joseph Smith, Jr. founded. Consequently, the RLDS Church was awarded the properties in Kirtland, Ohio and was named by the Courts to be, indeed, Joseph Smith's original church." As quoted at: http://www.watchman.org/lds/rlds08.htm

Biblical Reasons Ministry




	A Testimony Out of Mormonism & Turned to Christ by Dawn Ackley, d_ackley1@hotmail.com I was raised in the RLDS church (Reorganized Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints¹). I was baptized at eight years of age because, according to the RLDS Church, that is the age of accountability. I was confirmed a few weeks later. My family was a good church-going family. We attended three times a week. Over time though, especially during high school, I drifted away and became embroiled in other interests. I was married when I was 19, but the marriage was not good as he beat me and threatened me. I was scared to be there and didn't have the means to leave. Finally I talked my mother into helping me and, after a few false starts, I escaped on my 21st birthday. A few weeks after that was when I got saved! After I finally left my husband, I went back home to my live with my parents. It was early November. My brother, who is 2 1/2 years younger than me, asked if I would go to a youth retreat with him as a chaperone. The retreat was scheduled for a weekend later that same month. I had no interest in going, so I said, "No!" A couple of weeks went by and he asked again and stated that if they couldn't get more chaperones they were going to have to cancel the retreat. So, I said yes, but only out of guilt and not because I wanted to be there. I figured they were desperate, after all. Why would they ask someone who's marriage had just dissolved to be a chaperone to a bunch of senior high kids. I went to the retreat and felt out of place, both from the kids and from the other adults. On Saturday night I went to talk to my brother, and told him how I felt -- that none of them could even possibly imagine what the last couple of years of my life were like. My life was so far removed from things like that, and that being there was just making me feel worse. The next morning, there was a dedication service (all the RLDS retreats end that way) and everyone got up to say how much being there meant to them. I sat there feeling further and further from everyone and everything. My brother got up and spoke to me. He said that everyone there would love me if I just opened my heart and let them. Well, my heart *did* open, but it wasn't because I did anything, it was because God, in His glory, reached down and took the pain and suffering onto Himself and I was free! It was such a profound moment and I knew that God had worked a miracle in me. I knew I was saved. I couldn't say that at the time, being RLDS (that language was not part of our vocabulary), but that is what happened. Not being familiar with other religions, but being saved by God's grace, I delved into some fairly deep studies. I read large sections of the Joseph Smith Translation of the Bible.² I found that especially Genesis and Matthew were greatly changed from the King James Version of the Bible. I tried talking with some of the priesthood leaders at church about issues I was having problems with at work regarding how I had changed dramatically and the attitudes of the people I worked with (they thought I should go see a psychiatrist) but those conversation were cut short when I started college, since I went to my church college, over 1,000 miles away. While I was in college I got into a very conservative RLDS group who were all as passionate as I was; which was a rarity because it was hard to find many others my age who were interested in deeper studying of the scriptures. While I was in college, the RLDS church started making a concerted effort to alter their beliefs. (The RLDS church experienced an identity crises over the years, since they did not consider themselves “Mormon”, but were always accused of being Mormon by non-Mormons, and they wanted to change those perceptions.) So, they started mainstreaming their beliefs with Protestant beliefs. Conservative RLDS did not like this trend (myself being one of them), and in the mid-80's, they broke away from the main body of the RLDS church. From there on out, without the conservatives to keep them in check, the RLDS church started becoming very liberal. I, unfortunately, was not in an area where there was a conservative group to attend, so I continued to attend the more liberal body of the church, and started liberalizing with them. Back in the late 90's, I began to realize that I had "lost touch" with God, and so began looking for Him. I tried lots of new stuff, and for brief moments, I felt in touch, but it really required a lot of work, and I knew that at one point in time, it didn't require all that work, so I tried to figure out what the difference was. I came to believe that the main difference was that when I felt close to God I was conservative, and I realized that the liberalness was getting in the way, so I was faced with the decision of whether I wanted to, or even whether I should, "de-liberalize" myself." After talking with some of the conservative members, I decided to go for it. I would make the long, hard trek back to fundamentalism. (It was long and hard, too.) At the same time, because of my decision to return to more fundamental beliefs, I started running into problems with the church. I posted for several years on their discussion board, and in the end I got banned for speaking my mind about their liberalness and their movement away from the restoration. That was in 2004, and that was when I first started posting on ChristianForums and first came in contact with mainstream Christians in a discussion setting. Round about 1999, God started putting questions on my heart that I couldn't find answers to at church and that was what started my intensive searching. I thought (or hoped) that once I was back with the conservative RLDS that my questions would be answered, but they weren't. Also, due to the internal struggles within the RLDS/CoC, there were a lot of questions related to authority that came up. At that time, I was a hardcore believer in authority, and so when the church made moves away from the restoration (which endowed them with authority), and started ordaining women, I believed that the priesthood had become diluted, making the ordinances and sacraments invalid, and this was a factor in the puzzle, too. During the reorganization of the church back in the 1850s, there were promises made to the Reorganization that they would be instrumental in ushering in Zion (the millennial reign), but as the church grew more apostate, it was looking less and less like it would be able to fulfill the promises that God gave, and I started feeling backed between a rock and a hard place. How could the church fulfill it's promises if it was apostate? I really struggled with that question for a long time (well, several months, but it seemed like an eternity!) Just when I was reaching the peak of my anxiety, related to even more political activities in the church, someone posted a scripture on the discussion board. It was Matthew 16:18, and the scripture hit me like a ton of bricks. " ........... upon this rock I will build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it." I finally saw that scripture for what it really said, and I had to think of the promise in it and compare it to the promises that were given to the Reorganization. I realized that both sets of promises couldn't be true. If the one given by Christ in the Bible was true, there couldn't have been an apostasy (the foundational belief of the restoration), and therefore the restoration couldn't have been true, and if it wasn't true, then God couldn't be trusted to keep His promises and the ones given to the Reorganization were equally untrue. The only logical choices, then, were that the Biblical promise, alone, was true or neither of them were true. Since I knew that God had already saved me, I knew that the promises given in the Bible were true. I rejected the restoration immediately. This whole episode took less than 10 minutes! This took place on June 27, 2005. (June 27, 1844 is the day Joseph Smith was killed. To me, he died twice that day.) I have to admit that it hasn't all been an easy road to travel since then. I loved the RLDS church, it was my life. Literally. I was so involved in it that I hadn't sat through a service that I wasn't involved in some way for years, and I was also very active in organizing family events for the congregation for several years. I literally didn't know how to not be involved, and so to walk away from it (the beliefs, the culture, the friends) was very hard. And when I left, I had no idea what to believe or where to go. Between one of my friends, my chiropractor, and an online friend (a pastor of a non-denominational church I met on a discussion board), I found a church home which I love, and where I find the Spirit of God in abundance. I joined a Bible study group that has really helped me learn and grow. Dawn 1. Editor's comment: The RLDS church, known now as the Community of Christ (CoC), is one of several sects of Mormonism who believe that Joseph Smith, the founder of Mormonism, is a prophet of God and that the Book of Mormon is inspired of God. The RLDS church has its headquarters in Independence, Missouri and the LDS church has its headquarters in Salt Lake City, Utah. The LDS church is by far the largest and most visible of all Mormon sects. Another Mormon sect, the polygamist Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS), made the news recently when its former polygamist prophet, Warren Jeffs, was found guilty of two counts of rape as an accomplice for coercing a 14-year-old girl to marry her older cousin and have sex with him. The RLDS states that it has never advocated polygamy. The LDS church renounced polygamy in 1890 under pressure from the U.S. government. The interested reader is referred to another testimony on this site: Out of Polygamist Mormonism, by Brian Mackert. (back to text) 2. Editor's comment: The Joseph Smith Translation (JST), also known as the Inspired Version, is a work of Joseph Smith. Smith believed that God inspired him to "correct" the Bible. According to the Book of Mormon: 1 Nephi 13:28 Wherefore, thou seest that after the book hath gone forth through the hands of the great and abominable church, that there are many plain and precious things taken away from the book, which is the book of the Lamb of God. Smith's work contains significant additions and revisions to the Holy Bible. Smith relied upon no other texts to render his version of the Holy Bible. Smith believed that his work was instead inspired of God and a restoration of God's original intent. Interestingly, the LDS church doesn't have rights to Smith's work. Coleen Ralston writes: "It is interesting that in some of the Restorationists' writings, they showed that the U.S. courts found that the LDS Church wandered from the teachings of the original church that Joseph Smith, Jr. founded. Consequently, the RLDS Church was awarded the properties in Kirtland, Ohio and was named by the Courts to be, indeed, Joseph Smith's original church." As quoted at: http://www.watchman.org/lds/rlds08.htm More on the JST here. (back to text)	Jesus Saves Mormon Testimonies Turned to Christ Updated 5.08 Home Articles Did They Really Say That? Why Mormonism? Mormon Temples Secret or Sacred? What Happens In There? The Mormon Miracle Pageant An LDS Wedding Story Photo Album Christian Encouragement Four Spiritual Laws That’s my King! (S M Lockridge) – free video Lighter Side Statement of Faith Offsite Links Miscellaneous Contact Class Outlines Donate "Jesus' blood on the altar was the ultimate payment. He made us worthy permanently. When Jesus died on the cross the veil covering the Holy of Holies tore in half. The mercy seat lay exposed to mankind. There is no veil, anymore, between God and man. Jesus ripped it down. But Mormonism has hung up a new one." -Kathleen Baldwin "When I was LDS (not that long ago) I saw a lot of things that made me question my membership in the LDS church, but I sure wouldn't admit it for a long time (not even to myself). I just knew there had to be good explanations for all of those silly criticisms, if I just looked in the right place...or prayed about it long enough. I was wrong." - Former Mormon, Marsha Bette More... Editor's note: If the quote above describes you, please know that God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life. Visit Testimonies Turned to Christ at the top of this section to understand that you're not alone in your feelings.